and so it begins...
[2009-03-14] | [8:55 p.m.]


and it feels like i am starting all over again.
trying harder and harder to keep it all in.
hiding behind all my smiles and 'joy',
laughter plays tricks when its really a decoy.
though i seem fine and yes, "i'm alright",
my heart is telling me i am losing the fight.
i can't seem to find a place for my head,
a mess beyond words,
a step away from seeing red.

dying to live